It said... It said... 'I'm going to hurt you so bad'

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Still wearing a giraffe onesie from the previous night's drinking, Sid wakes from a nightmare in which he was pursued by predators.


All Sid wants is to get some sleep and to catch up on David Attenborough on iPlayer. He certainly doesn’t want a call from his flatmate, Leo, telling him not to touch his laptop. And he really doesn't need Leo’s girlfriend giving him the third degree about where Leo has gone.


All Rose knows is Leo received a text reading ‘I’m going to hurt you so bad' just before he disappeared. All Sid knows is the man who sent that message is a brutal criminal called Craven.


So Bad is a tale of sexual betrayal, gang violence and bad grammar.

Yeah. A smiley face. An emoticon. Like a little robot head. And the robot’s ears—his antennae—looked like little devil’s horns. And he was smiling.

So Bad is a black comedy performed at the breakneck speed of farce. However, there are no quick entrances and exits, and no wardrobes in which to hide.


Throughout the play, Sid and Rose are left alone on stage, by turns flirting and fighting, posing and panicking, as they try to decipher Leo’s cryptic text messages and to make sense of the menacing Skype calls made by the gang leader, Craven. It’s just a shame so much of their energy goes into squabbling over grammar, as Rose seeks to cling on to normality and order in this lawless new world into which she has stumbled.


The answer to the mystery of Leo’s disappearance lies on his laptop, with everything hanging on the meaning of the words, ‘I’m going to hurt you so bad'. And when Sid and Rose finally discover what Craven's message means, they’re not surprised he’s so keen word doesn’t get out. Fortunately, Rose is as resourceful as she is resilient, and she’s a quick learner— particularly when it comes to blackmailing gangsters.